I’m strong, am I not? No heavy sobbing. No stuffy nose. No painful eyes. No headaches. No free time to idle. I have been keeping myself busy – trying to forgive myself for your passing. I prayed. I went out. I met with friends. I laughed. I made jokes. I lent a listening ear. I took my test (half-heartedly). I worked really really hard this week. I have been really good, haven’t I?
Still, when I reach home there was no curious beady eyes staring at me. I’m broken without you but I will mend, wouldn’t I? It will be a busy Saturday today. Will it be a clear blue sky?
Please don’t remind me how many days I have left. I have this dread feeling and I don’t wish to leave now. Not now… not when I’ve lost something so important.
The first tear hit my pillow tonight and 3 damp tissues went into the bin. Just 3. I’m improving.
Cast me gently into the morning for this night has been extremely unkind.
