Recently there was this silent rave in me about being a woman. International Women’s day was just over (I got 2 beautiful roses!), one of my male professors stated that intelligent women are too modest and they let men trample over them – that’s why so few women are in management (his principals) and Mona Lisa Smile had taught me that being a woman you have to challenge conventions and break out to be who you really are – You don’t have to be married to say you are a real woman.
The Lions and Tigers Vs Lionesses & Tigresses
Anyways the question is – How far can an intelligent women go? Especially changing asian societies in Singapore and Hong Kong where it is the culture that women stay in kitchens to cook and look after the children and family: resigned-to-her-fate homemakers. While the males are like lions/tigers in their careers! But isnt it different? Now that both the wifes and husbands have to work? Keeping this in mind, I find that women are sometimes at a disavantage. Let me (try to) convince you…
1. As Asians we are expected to be demure at home when our husbands are round. Clear (the shit) after your husband -peanut shells and beer bottles.
2. Cook. Clean. Wash. Iron are words you will sing during weekends. If you have a loving husband to share the load with…Good for you! Im not talking about maids – I never believed in having maids (maybe I will in the future).
3. At work, women are expected to perform just as our male counterparts. Regardless of gender, if you don’t perform (bring in the $$$$) out you go.
4. What if you have a family? Children? There are times you have to take leave when your kids are sick, don’t you? Oh! too many leave days taken will tag you as “inefficient” and lazy. (This reminds me of Lynette Scarvo of Desperate Housewifes)
5. Can people blame women for being alpha females (like Miranda Hobbs in Sex and the City)? I can’t think of a reason. Being a female you have to do the same in this society! You work and you have to take care of your family at the same time – no slack for you.
6. I was brought up in a male-”biased” family. Where the girls have to do the dishes, clean up after your male brothers and yea basically being chided for not being “womanly” or demure enough. It was tough yet I still thank my mother for raising me up that way.
7. Being Asian your ROLE as a woman is to contribute to your heritage. Carry on your bloodline. Bring glory to your family by having kids. So there is no such word as single in the dictionary. If so, you must must have had high expectations for being single. (this reminds me of a friend that always drives me nuts when she says this)
8. Oh yes! Don’t forget that period that comes knocking on our womanly-door 12 times a year. You cannot believe the amount of pain/discomfort most women have to bear.
9. Single mothers get looked down upon. You have kids tagging along and you are hence labelled as undesirable.
10. Women are physically less able than men. Well, I admit it that we are born this way! We dont have much strength to open tight bottle caps and we always have to ask our male friends to kindly do it for us. Sigh…
11. This is an additional point after I posted this entry. On Saturday March 8 2008, there was an article in the Saturday papers stating that Women still tend to earn less than their male counterparts. (need I say more?)
12. Men tend to rule out that women are the ones who trample their egos & the ones who have the HIGHER expectations. Hence explaining why men now choose to marry Vietnamese brides. No offence, I love Vietnam and its people! I reckon the trend is changing because men let women bully them! Come on! You dont carry your girlfriend’s pinky handbags for HEAVEN’s SAKE! (not including “unisex” looking work bags which are heavy) If men choose to be a model-chaser then I have nothing to say if they really do end up with a foreign bride, that’s really too bad. You gain respect by having self respect!
So you get my drift? Each one of us ladies have to push our limits and set the record straight for future women and we should also thank women of the past whom brought us the opportunities we have now. If it were’nt for our past sisters, we wouldnt have a try at education! Women were hardly accepted in Harvard or even Yale back then in the 50s!
Therefore this is my thanks to all sisters in the world and of the past making it possible for me to pen my honest thoughts without being shot and an education. Thank You! Happy International Women’s Day. So be proud that you are a wooooooman! =)
Ladies! Raise your arms and fingers (in the comment post) if you concur!
You go girl!! lol but tis true that in an Asian society like here in this small red dot, there are still norms that we have to adhere to. Like when the girlfriend is goes to the boyfriend’s place for dinner, there is this silent expectation from the parents that the girl helps to wash the dishes after dinner when the boy can just sit back and watch TV. *Sigh utterly unfair.
Hey Jasmine! You are sooooo right! We have those expectations to meet as a future daugther in law yet in the working world, we are treated differently…. Gender inequality… hai.. but least its slowly changing here in Singapore… I think I’d get shot if I type this kind of content in China! hahahahaha!
There a saying which says “look at your fingers, if they are of equal length, do you think your hand can function properly?” The point is, nothing is fair in this world. What we can do to mitigate this is to have mutual respect and embrace diversity. Easier said than done eh? Btw, I’m normally the one who wash the dishes at home, because whoever finishes last will wash the dishes and I tend to eat very slowly! My family practice meritocracy! haha
CHF,if only you were my brother… hai..
you dun have sisters in your family that’s why you have to do the work! and do you eat slow? seriously?
well but some pple have flat feet and some pple dun…. and they still can walk fine. =) still have to walk…
the battle of the gender ….
there is still the glass ceiling….
but then… men are still trapped in the glass cellar… they get the worst jobs… like cleaning up the drains…
I kinda disagree that only men are doing the shit work. In China, you’d see if you put money into any job – women and men would just take it. Same goes to people in India. =) (in due respect to any nations, its just the way it is)
Seen women as contruction labourers? Plently in China, Shenzhen, have seen them myself.
Honestly, I think cleaning up of drains is not really the worst job in my opinion…
okay fess up.. who is Kelvin Goh??? hahahaha…
Sigh… someone I’d never get to be…. (that’s why its for a day) How about you Jas? =) And how did the interview go?
my interview was alright… not tt fantastic but I guess it was ok. Anyway, I’m still not officially married. just permanently attached. hahaha…
I generally agree with you that women have their own challenges. And that society’s expectations are skewed in favour of men. But some men have their own plight as well.
To all ladies, may you be wise enough to know the difference between abuse and love. And strong enough to know what you truly deserve. (assuming you deserve it haha)
Without self worth and self respect, we’d just be another piece of walking plastic, wouldn’t we?
Cheers!
You know Buddy! You love you for saying that! That is exactly the notion behind the belief that Love is Blind. IT IS NOT! – when you are physically & verbally abused and you think that it is okay because you are in love. *what rubbish*
Hahaha! You and your plastication theories – work sometimes!