136. I am content

I thought I should leave some breadcrumbs here to mark another fabulous year. As December beckons, I really must say I have been most blessed by many things. God blesses those who hold little but much will be harvested in years to come.

I have also come to learn that planning is a pain but necessary to keep us in check. When it comes to jotting down your plans to live your lives together, it is no easy feat. I’ve many things to look forward to when the year rounds up. I’m also counting down to another phase in my life. Each and every day is a blessing and has taught me to cherish whatever time we have left with each other.

135. When Time Is Right

When I was young, the books I read taught me that “Doing the right thing at the the wrong time is still a wrong thing”. Hence in whatever we do, coupled at the appropriate time, the best results are then achievable.

I’ve always been in a silo. Had people coming up to me to check my temperature and asking me whether I was sane. (Probably you are one of them) After having seen much drama in life, I started scrutinising it. Perhaps the time wasn’t right, so whenever I tried to push it, I failed.

I knew a pair of eyes has been following me from above and I was always impatient, questioning when things would happen. Only to know that when it does, I will be ready for it.

When I think about the plans ahead for us, I have a smile on my face. I can’t wait how our story spins out. (:

And now, I hope the time IS right and everything is in order.

134. Nothing I Want More

There is nothing I want more.

Arguing with you and then enjoying the make-up process. Squabbling about things so insignificant and then laughing at ourselves later. Appreciating the fact that we are both tri-lingual and can communicate using 3 languages in one sentence (read: finger spell). Mastering the art of talking through our eyes.

And best of all, I get the best of job of having to pry you away from the snares of aunties whom you charm unknowingly. (AH! He has a pretty girlfriend and you obasans can forget about touching him!)

At this moment, given my crazy workload and study schedule, having to push away friends’ appointments and sometimes incoherent messages, I am truly glad I have a knight, always braving the rain to meet me or getting me to places. Most importantly, always being there. What more can a girl ask for?

133. When The Meaning Is Lost

Surprised by your smiley face and your intention to talk.

Why would you tell me your parents or aunts still miss me and talk about me? That they want me to visit again. You know I’ll always miss your aunts and your parents, especially your dad. What was it that you want to say?

Why it is that there is happiness to your “Hi’ and no sadness to your “Goodbye”?

But for once in a long time, I didn’t feel sad at all. I think I’m able to smile now from the heart now.

132. Can’t Hold It In?

How many of you have that HUGE wave of spontaneity, cant wait to pour it all out after watching a really good move? Hands UP!  I had this flashback in my mind – it was because I read the book ‘Eat Pray Love ‘ that I could try to make steps to move on. I also remembered that I woke up one night and typing in paragraphs of the book here in my blog. While I was depressed and sick, I kept it tight under my armpits while I visited the doctor. I had the book with me ALL the time. Wanted to come home to read it but I recalled that I’ve already lent it to a colleague. *palm to forehead*

“I heard the critics rated this 2 stars! SO nice meh?” bellowed this guy sitting behind me while waiting for the show to start. In my mind, “Oh man, pleasssssse don’t reveal the whole freakin plot. I still want to get my money’s worth!” Anyways, I did like the movie especially what Richard shared with Liz. That whole conversation is still in my head!

For so long, I’ve always never really knew whether I’ve let go. This is a good reminder to pray every day and to send my love every day, whether or not it goes through.

131. Another First

With my director and friend’s encouragement, I registered for the SXX’s Birthday Bash and got selected and matched by The Dating Loft. The party was fun and met up with a couple of new friends and I had to play hide and seek with a couple of guys who were really adamant on getting my number or just wanted to talk to me. (Nope, I didn’t give out my number to anyone) That freaked me out quite a bit. Claressa even commented that when I got out of the hall, I looked like a prey! *Yikes*

Somewhere inside me, I still feel comfortable being alone. I like to sit in the train without anyone trying their funny ideas on me. I prefer the walk home alone. However anti-social I may be now. I feel real stupid. What do I do with this residual feelings? There isnt a bin where I can trash it. There is no eraser to remove it. I can only lock it up but it will still be there. Bakamitai.