71. I Don’t Want To Be A Spinster

As the giant yolk sets into the horizon, I hear the chattering of the aunties from Malaysia and Singapore on the bus discussing about their steal of the day. “CHEAP Coffeeeeee!” I am the youngest of the lot. I turn and look at them together with the American tourists. Why do we come from another part of this world yet we naturally split into 2 cliques? =X

The thing I wanna share is that I don’t want to travel with a bunch of old women when im 40 Tho’ I can never quench my thirst for traveling,I don’t wanna be traveling around with sun hats, long sleeves and talking about cheap coffee or silk.

I want to travel with my boyfriend or husband. And the image of those aunties scares me. YO NO QUIERO POR FAVOR! And I start to fear the unknown future. Could she be me 20 years later? *shakes my head repeatedly* NOOOO!

I remember this nice Singaporean lady came up to me and said, “Hey girl, are you still studying? You look so young! You have to put on more sunblock, do you know? Not to get pigmentation. When that happens, its irreversible.” And I froze.

Age will catch up with everyone but maybe I just don’t wanna face the music yet.

But still……………..

I DONT WANNA END UP TRAVELING WITH A BUNCH OF SINGLE WOMEN WHEN IM 40! =((((((((((((((((((

Im sorry sisters – I’m still in denial…

70. Traveling in Asia

I ought to post this in my travel blog but will copy this over the next time. Reason being – Im damn tired but I have to wait for my hair to dry (not advisable to have long hair when traveling only for the sake of beauty)

Traveling Cambodia and Vietnam – I can say that even being an Asian and look totally Asian, sometimes I feel lost in the streets of Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh. Their language and the words are totally different. To me, they are talking Greek all of the time. Perhaps I look Vietnamese? So usually they will answer in their language and I will repeat again in English. Then another guy will jump in and help me translate.

This goes to show that even in Asia, all of us speak so many different languages and its almost impossible to keep up with each and every language. Try learning all the dialects in China and India. Ho Ho Ho~

This trip made me reflect on a lot of things.  About procrastination and how wonderful life is. How lucky to be born in Singapore and being able to grow up in a developed city. How those kids selling pinas (pineapples or bracelets) would love to have a chance in school to learn English. It really breaks my heart.

Traveling with my brother in Hanoi is not so fun. Basically its like traveling alone and I realised that he treats me like a guy – he gave me the map and tells me Im in-charge of the directions. Its not that I cant do it – to think on the postive side, its because Im able to do it better than him! HAHA!

But let me tell you this; traveling alone (solo female travel) can be a really great experience but something I didnt like was men touching me (arms and shoulders) to get me to take their tuk tuk and motobike and usually they’d get a fierce stare. You can ask me but DO NOT F****** touch me or push me.

AND they always try to chop you in all possible ways. Hence I  have to spend alot of time at the reception asking a lot of qns regarding prices of tuks tuks or cabs. I hate to be over-charged for something just because I am a tourist.

What esle? When Im back home I have say Hi to reality. My table is waiting for me to fix it. Any hunkie would like to help me? =) Intermediate 2 sign lang classes and prep for orientation – WELCOME TO THE WORKING WORLD ALASKA!

69. Cambodia Through My Eyes

Children on the Tonle Sap River

Sunrise at Angkor Wat

Flirty monkey showing me its bootie

On Pann's Tuk Tuk

Skulls of massarced cadres during Pol Pot's Regime

68. My Last Day In Kampuchea

I’m typing this in one of the hotels in Phnom Penh and standing before me is an extremely cute Cambodia bartender. Hee~ I will be leaving Phnom Penh for Ho Chi Minh by bus first thing tomorrow. Being in this wonderful country for 4 days has taught me how lucky I am to be born a Singaporean. You and I don’t know what poverty and pure human torture is about. I’ve never been through war – and I hope no country will never have to experience one again.

Visiting S-21 and the killing fields were of the most sobering experiences I ever encountered. There before your eyes thousands of cracked craniums and a pile of tattered clothes worn by the massacred victims lie in a glass cupboard. Hundreds of those numbered and tagged victims had their photos taken- grim faces and fearful eyes not knowing what is going to happen to them. I had a better understanding what happened to Kampuchea (then) and Pol Pot’s Khmer Regime to turn the country upside now – taking lives of the innocent who dared defied.

It breaks my heart to learn that now – the new Phnom Penh still has lingering traces of sorrow and poverty. However, it had just come out of 2 wars after 1979 and a few more years after the Democratic Kampuchea took over (they too were overthrown).

I’m glad I chose to do this trip to a still-developing country. A lot to learn for this girl.

It’s not easy leaving some memories behind . Honestly.

I will update my travel blog as soon as possible. Have already written some stuff. Just need to upload them.

Btw, I would really like a trip to Batam! =) Sadly, no hunkie no cachorrito no abrazos no besos to accompany me. Voy a distrutarme!

67. In Good Time

Why in good time?

About a week ago, I was sharing some deep thoughts and in particular regrets I had with a close friend. He too, a loadful of regrets throughout his life. Just when I was criticizing a fellow acquaintance who was being too blardie emo, here I am using a fairly large microscope to enlarge the nitty gritty bad crap that happened to me in the past. I feel absolutely disgusted but at the same time real – that I am feeling the moment, every passing second that keeps me restless.

Right now?

Estoy enojada. Yo estaba esperando por ti, pero nunca apareció. Mientiroso. Al igual que antes y justo como él – que dices cosas que no significan. Desde hace mucho tiempo, dejé de tener expectativas. Aquí estoy, mirando a su nombre sin la mínima idea de por qué lo hago. ¿Dices que querer saber cómo fue mi día? ¿Dices que hablar conmigo el sábado? ¿no? Yo debería haber sabido. Las promesas que se hacen para ser rotos.

Bakamitai.

Hence, in good time I will discover the reasons why I took the route I’ve taken and made the fall I fell. I will know why Canon in D is the only song that removes any spanish rubble from my head. I will know why and then perhaps things may be different.

66. Breakups & Buying Phones

Breakups are extremely hard to get over. Those people who have been through it know exactly how hard it is. But I’m not going to talk about break ups today or rather share with you how to get over it by highlight a very simple analogy which happened to me today.

Why are Breakups Hard?

It is because you are attached to this person 24 hours 7 days a week. Your mind, your body and 5 senses are alike microscopic organisms diffusing right through the pores of your very skin reminding you the existence of this person you wish to forget. Every breath you take, an alarming pain of the past stings you from head to toe – not exactly that refreshing.

Oh, not forgetting your tear ducts and your body clock seemed to malfunction causing you to hibernate in a cocoon unable to communicate with another. You wonder what you did to make God put you in such a situation – your mind goes on in an endless trail finding an answer to why things ended.

Do you hate this person? In fact, you don’t. You still love this person to bits don’t you? But the only truth there is left now is that everything is over. What do you do now? The other light which you used to trust is now shattered and will not rekindle again.

How do you end this nightmare?

My Phone = My Boyfriend

My phone, to be exact the contents in my phone, and my SIM card are the things I hold close to my heart. My relationship with my phone? It dates all the way back to 2002. My attachment to my phone? I sleep with it every night and it wakes me up. When I’m lonely, I’d touch it’s body and it will find my friends for me. My phone is like a part of me and I’ve customized it to suit my needs. A cellphone is something you will definitely bring along with you if you go anyway.

The contacts I have in my phone are plentiful. Once lost, getting all of them back may be impossible because I have foreign numbers stored.  The meaningful messages I received from my friends in the past are irreplaceable. (sounds familiar?) Never have I misplaced my phone before (never say never) and why now? At this crucial time? Who will wake me up now? That familiar ringtone will no longer be around me anymore.

For 7 years I was attached to the dust I kept in my phone. No backup. Without warning and due to my carelessness, I lost it. Its a sickening feeling that something so familiar and comfortable will never be back in my life again. Similarly, its the over attachment to things or even living things that will make us cranky if we lose them.

Do you see the similarity?

The Solution?

You will do the obvious, wouldn’t you? If you lose your wallet, you’d replace any lost cards and tell yourself that the cash was no big deal. Naturally, when you lose a phone, you buy a new one. Hopefully having a new one, you will learn to love and not to lose it again in the future.

So when your heart is broken, what do you do? Buy a new one! What I suggest is to try you best to replace the “microscopic organisms” your body was used to. It may not be the same but just like losing my phone. I will never get it back again. Your lost love will never come back again. Embrace your new heart and wait for the surprises it brings!

Guess what? The delivery man just sent me my new SIM card! Hence, my “replacement” of attachments shall begin tonight.

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Singaporeans are getting more and more dishonest. I don’t know why. But what goes around comes around. Perhaps that bitch sold my phone to help pay her grandma’s hospital bills. If that is the case, I will forgive her.

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Another lingering thought. I have always wondered why Frida always loved Diego… That old man cheated on her (countless of times)! How could a woman love someone who betrayed herself so many times? Yet she waited for him… even to her death bed. Oh well, at least in the end he was with her… =/

Another bizarre thought – what would you do if you found out that your best friend slept with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? Que rare! Amazingly, different people have told me different answers!

Life is funny. It gets interesting by the second and by the minute. Losing my phone is one of those instances.